Our Little Country Life: September 2011

It has been way to long since I have posted on here. I hope to be back more often from now on. My sister had encouraged me to start blogging a while ago. She and I both knew it would be a perfect place to write about the things that I was feeling, things that you don't always talk about but need to get out. And it was, it was a perfect place where I could come and write about grieving our stillborn son, Nolan. It was also the perfect place where I could come and write about the anger and frustration that I felt while going through infertility. I loved being able to just say what I wanted to say with out offending anybody or being to emotional. If somebody didn't want to read they didn't have to.

Once I found out I was pregnant, it was hard to come back to my blog, for lots of reasons. I had shared so much of Nolan's story and so much of my grief here. Not that I'm done grieving, or ever will be for that matter, and not that I don't think about him, because trust me I do several times each day, but I have had to try really hard to not focus on that while I am pregnant. I think as a pregnant mom you always have concern and fear about your unborn child being safe and perfect. Well multiply that fear 8 1,000,000 when your first child was stillborn. Every time I would think about blogging the first things I would think of were sweet little Noland and infertility. I knew how important it was for me to stay positive and it just seemed easier to do that away from here. Weird? Maybe.

I had also come in contact with some amazing women who are also struggling with their own infertility journey. I know what it is like to be on that road and come across somebody who is pregnant or something about pregnancy. It is HARD! One of the hardest things you do come across on that road. I did not want to be that person to anybody out there who is reading my blog. I know - I will NEVER forget what that journey was like, ever. It is a part of me and who I am. But it is still hard.

But lately, I miss blogging. I have kept up on several blogs even though I haven't been doing much of my own. I decided I was ready to start again;) I'm looking forward to it too!

Here is a quick little catch up...I'll do more tomorrow!

-Yesterday I turned 28 weeks with the twins!
-They are both boys.
-Their first names will be Colton and Wyatt - middle names, um yeah harder than first, why?
- 2 weeks ago at our last appointment one was measuring 2 lbs 2 oz and the other 1 lb 12oz, which Dr. said is just fine! We haven't decided who is who yet. I mean is Baby A Colton and Baby B Wyatt? HA!!! So sometimes we refer to them by name and other times we still go by A & B!

Like I said I will update more tomorrow. But for now, here are just a few pics of what we were up to this summer, during my blogging vacation ;)