Well, hello!

It has been way to long since I have posted on here.  I hope to be back more often from now on.  My sister had encouraged me to start blogging a while ago.  She and I both knew it would be a perfect place to write about the things that I was feeling, things that you don't always talk about but need to get out.  And it was, it was a perfect place where I could come and write about grieving our stillborn son, Nolan.  It was also the perfect place where I could come and write about the anger and frustration that I felt while going through infertility.  I loved being able to just say what I wanted to say with out offending anybody or being to emotional.  If somebody didn't want to read they didn't have to. 

Once I found out I was pregnant, it was hard to come back to my blog, for lots of reasons.  I had shared so much of Nolan's story and so much of my grief here.  Not that I'm done grieving, or ever will be for that matter, and not that I don't think about him, because trust me I do several times each day, but I have had to try really hard to not focus on that while I am pregnant.  I think as a pregnant mom you always have concern and fear about your unborn child being safe and perfect.  Well multiply that fear 8 1,000,000 when your first child was stillborn.  Every time I would think about blogging the first things I would think of were sweet little Noland and infertility.  I knew how important it was for me to stay positive and it just seemed easier to do that away from here.  Weird?  Maybe. 

I had also come in contact with some amazing women who are also struggling with their own infertility journey.  I know what it is like to be on that road and come across somebody who is pregnant or something about pregnancy.  It is HARD!  One of the hardest things you do come across on that road.  I did not want to be that person to anybody out there who is reading my blog.  I know - I will NEVER forget what that journey was like, ever.  It is a part of me and who I am.  But it is still hard.

But lately, I miss blogging.  I have kept up on several blogs even though I haven't been doing much of my own.  I decided I was ready to start again;)  I'm looking forward to it too! 

Here is a quick little catch up...I'll do more tomorrow!

-Yesterday I turned 28 weeks with the twins!
-They are both boys.
-Their first names will be Colton and Wyatt - middle names, um yeah harder than first, why?
- 2 weeks ago at our last appointment one was measuring 2 lbs 2 oz and the other 1 lb 12oz, which Dr. said is just fine!  We haven't decided who is who yet.  I mean is Baby A Colton and Baby B Wyatt?  HA!!!  So sometimes we refer to them by name and other times we still go by A & B!

Like I said I will update more tomorrow.  But for now, here are just a few pics of what we were up to this summer, during my blogging vacation ;) 

Clint's best friend got married, Clint was Best Man & I was Matron of Honor

 

My precious nephew, Simon was born

My post wouldn't be complete with out mention of my adorable niece, Kirsten.  Who by the way LOVES her new baby brother!

We celebrated Nolan's 1st Birthday.  We sent him lots of love and some balloons too;)

My cousin got married

Here are the twins at the wedding ;)

Wedding bells...and bridesmaid dresses...

So remember my post about how many weddings we have this summer???  Like 13 or something, I've lost count.  I am in 2 of them and Clint is in 3 of them, whew!!!  We have already been to 1 wedding this year, the next is Memorial Day weekend.  Neither of these 2 are ones we are standing up in. 

Come June 25th we are both standing up in the same wedding.  Actually Clint is the best man and I am the matron of honor.  It is one of Clint's closest childhood friends, Loren.  Loren's older brother Brian passed away in a tragic accident 3 years ago, so Clint gets the honor of filling in for Brian, who was also a very close friend of Clint's.  Kind of bittersweet.  Lana, Loren's fiancee, moved here from Russia about 11 years ago.  She took 1 year of high school and then graduated from the college in our small town.  She lived at home while going to college and missed out on making a lot of friends.  Most of her friends now, are Loren's friends wives or girlfriends.  Since most of her family can't come from Russia for the wedding she asked me to stand up as her matron of honor.  It is a little awkward just because the 2 of us have always gotten along but have never been super close.  We do things as the 4 of us, both couples.  Since my hubby is the best man, it will be fine, and I am looking forward to it. 

Here is the dresses for this wedding.  They are beautiful. 

I will be 16 weeks, so I am praying that the dress will work.  I had ordered it a size to big, since I was hoping to be pregnant.  I just had NO idea it would be with twins!!!  I will post a picture next week of my little belly bump.  I am 5'11" so I think the height will be to my advantage;)  I was slow to show with Nolan, so it will be interesting to see how things are different this time around!!!

The next wedding I am in is August 20th.  My cousin's wedding.  I will be 24 weeks.  That dress, I am VERY nervous about.  I too ordered that one a size big being hopeful to be pregnant.  Again never imagining I would be having twins.  I'm just not so certain that this dress will fit.  With out some miracle work by my amazing seamstress.  If anybody can fix it I know she can.   Here is that dress.  Wish me luck!!







I love LOVE weddings, and am looking forward to celebrating so many this year!